Divorce or Remarriage

 I think we can all agree that there are things we wish we could change. Families are one of the topics that most people say they wish they would do better or wish their parents did better. I know for my family there’s plenty we all wish we could change. I know for myself I wish I could’ve been nicer and more merciful to my family members. My parents were far from perfect but still deserved my love and respect. As well, I wish I could’ve been kinder to my brothers. They were a huge influence in my life, and I so wish I could’ve been nicer to them when we were children. As you can see there’s many things, I wish I could’ve changed. I think that’s true for every family. Sometimes we wish we could’ve changed ourselves and sometimes we wish we could’ve changed our family. I think this is all veery normal.

My ultimate wish would’ve been to change the outcome of my family. I don’t think my family would’ve ended up being any different but in a perfect world I wish my parents hadn’t divorced. I think the world will say that divorce is fine, it’s normal. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. I do not side with the world, I do not believe it is normal and I DO believe it can be detrimental to children. Even in the most successful divorces it can cause problems for children. Whether the divorce is friendly or toxic there are still problems for all those involved. I remember being young and wishing I could have one home. I didn’t like having to switch to different houses. Although it was nice getting more presents, I didn’t like having to share holidays either. There were times where I wanted to stay with my mom but by law was told to go to my dad’s house. It was really hard for a little kid. It was hard to watch other families on holidays talk about their fun traditions and all the things that got to do as a family. It really only made me feel like there was something wrong with my family. These are feelings that effect all divorced children, even if the divorce was a ‘good’ thing. The world and society will say that divorce is okay because you need to find what makes you happy and if you’re not happy than you need to leave. They don’t say anything about how it effects the children. That’s a huge thing to keep in mind when thinking about divorce.

With all of that said, sometimes divorce is necessary. Although there were negative effects for me because of my parents divorce I do believe it was the best move for my family. I know this is the case for lots of families. I also know that there are a lot of families where the parents will remarry, and the family expands. There becomes a stepmother and or father. There might even be more children and step siblings now. These can be good things, but it is a lot of adjustments for every person involved. Combing families is something to be done with extreme caution and excessive amounts of love. There will me many adjustments for each person, this is where you need to extend mercy. Do not give hope on your new situation. Have open communication with your spouse and with your children. Learn how they’re feeling and try to meet each individual’s needs, this will help ease tension within your home and help everyone see that you’re trying your best to help the family.

Moral of this blog: always try your best to improve your family no matter what your families circumstances are.

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