Family Crisis

 

Expectations and perfections seem to run our world and ideals. I’d be willing to bet a large portion of American’s are perfectionists, and if they aren’t they hold some form for expectation for themselves, those around them, and their overall life. Often, we have expectations of what love is, or dating, and eventually what we think our marriage will be like. Some expectations are good, they make sure we are in good and healthy relationships. However, expectations are bound to be broken in any marriage, no matter how healthy the relationship. I have found in my own personal relationships and studies that it’s important to talk to your significant other about what you’re wanting or expecting from the relationship. You have to also be willing to change your perspectives and compromise. I’m not a big camper but my fiancé is, so I go camping with him and we have a such a fun time. Obviously, that’s a very small example of a expectation and a compromise. I do hope it shows though, that although I never thought I would enjoy camping and that it was not an expectation of mine, it was for him. So, we talked it over and made a compromise.

Going back to expectations, our ideals of what a marriage will be like, or even the life you build together can create more problems when stress comes along. In my studies this week we talked about stressors for families. Stress can enter the family circle in many ways. A child might be struggling in school or in their social life. If one member of the family is struggling, that stress can radiate to the whole family. I don’t always see this as a bad thing. A family unit is supposed to encourage each other and help on another. It can be useful in a family to uplift the ones struggling. However, there are some stressors that can affect every individual in ways possibly undetected.

Some effects I studied this week had to do with drug or alcohol abuse. I can relate to this one very personally as my father was an alcoholic. If a member of the family is addicted to something, it can impair their thinking, behaviors, feelings, and overall lifestyle. You can image how this could affect a family. For my family it was really challenging, my dad’s mood shifted all the time and after years of alcohol abuse it corrupted his ability to control thoughts and actions, and this usually led to some form of abuse to the family members. It was hard for each member of the family because we loved our dad and my mom loved her husband but when it came down to choosing his family or his addiction, he did not choose his family. As you can imagine, this has caused family stress for our whole lives. It ended up causing a divorce and then continual parent/child conflict in the home.

My mom’s expectations were ruined, my expectations as a child were shattered, and it caused trauma to our family unit. Now, this is another extreme, not all families will go through this. Some families will experience loss, financial troubles, job, or location changes. When these events occur, it can either strengthen a family or cause them to struggle. From my studies this week I learned that the best thing to do for situations like these, are to turn towards each other, not away. A family crisis can either make or break a family. Reacting poorly or turning away from responsibilities or the needs or your family can cause permanent damage to the family unit.

The moral of this blog post is to rely on each other, always look out for each other’s emotional and physical needs. If you’re family is going through their own personal crisis, know that you are not alone!