Being an Active Parent

Parenting is something we can all relate to in one way or another. I am not a parent, as I’m sure some of you aren’t and maybe some of you are. But we all have parents. I want to be sensitive to any of you that didn’t grow up with present parents. That is truly awful, I believe everyone deserve to have parents that are present in their lives. Going beyond that I believe a child deserves the best type of parent. They deserve someone who will love them physically, spiritually, emotionally, and any way that they may ever need. We didn’t all get that, but whether or not we had ideal parents, we all had them. That’s something we can all bond over. We can bond over similar childhoods, or you can help raise awareness for childhoods that weren’t ideal. I think that both roles are important.

Speaking for myself and the parents I’ve had, I love to learn the way other people were raised. I desire to know what parenting style other people’s parents used. I want to know more about what rituals the family had or even what day to day life was life. My whole growing up I would watch people at my church and how they treated their children or how the siblings got along. It was a way of learning. On the opposite, I’ve also had the opportunity to raise awareness to people who grew up in a good home. Sometimes, people who have been really blessed don’t understand what other people go through. That’s a good problem to have, I wish more people knew good and loving homes. However, I think it’s important to know what makes a home and what does not.

Children have many needs and unfortunately some of the needs go unmet. One need I really want to discuss is the need for contact. During the pandemic we’ve had to change our physical contact with others. I don’t know if anyone else felt the lack of physical or mental connection with other people. I know I sure did, I was very relived when my area of the world started to open up so that I would continue my relationships. Contact is important for adults, for us to feel loved. However, contact is essential for children. If a child is starved for affection, it can actually cause developmental issues. It can also cause behavioral issues. Regardless of how we grew up, it is our duty to learn how to best start our future family off right. I personally didn’t grow up in a home where physical touch was important, saying I love you wasn’t regularly practiced till later in my life. Both my parents grew up in a home where physical touch wasn’t a priority. They passed some of those behaviors over to our family. I remember when I was young asking why Dad didn’t hug me or tell me he loved me. I always wondered why some families would regularly say I love you. It was strange to me. Now I’m joining a family that told me the loved me two months into dating their family. My fiancé tells me he loves me constantly. My point is, that we need to change behaviors that existed in our previous family. We need to love others and is essential that we love those around us. That we give connection and contact to those that we love the most.

When need to make sure that people feel loved, especially our own children when we start our own families. We need to meet people’s needs. We can’t just wait for the problem to arise before trying to solve it. We need to be active parents and give love even when they don’t seem to need it. Love is meant to be given freely. There is no prerequisites to giving love.