Dating Culture

 Marriage. A simple word to say but a hard concept to grasp. It’s a big decision, one that changes and shapes the direction of your life. If you get married too soon or to the wrong person, it can create an unhealthy relationship. So, how do marry the “right” person, is there even such a thing? I want to hear your thoughts!

I read some interesting articles this week as well as had some interesting discussions about this subject. To understand the trends of marriage you first have to understand the current trends of dating. What is dating like for you? Dating nowadays has turned into something called hanging out. Even when I was dating in my younger years, boys would ask me to hang out and then treat it like a date or ask to go on a date but then it would be something really casual. Is dating the same as going steady? Or is there a difference? According to the discussions and articles I read, dating is super important to preparing for marriage. Dating rituals such as planning, money management, and spending one on one time together, can create healthy habits for relationships. There are many skills required for a healthy marriage so healthy dating habits should be the number one priority for young folks nowadays.

So, what does a healthy dating habits look like? First of all, for you young folks going on dates, stop calling them hangouts. If you like someone enough to be interested in getting to know them more, take time to plan something for them. It doesn’t have to be expensive or super romantic, but it does need to be planned and an activity that can allow you to get to know the other person. Never compromise your future relationship with momentary wants.

So often in dating these days, couple will take steps that they’re not ready for. I myself am guilty of this. There is a theory called RAM, Relationship Attachment Model. It’s the idea that there are some steps of a relationship that shouldn’t take place until the precursors for it. It consists of five categories. Knowing someone, trusting them, relying on them, your commitment to them, and your physical affection towards one another. The idea of this model is that you shouldn’t trust someone more than you know them, and you shouldn’t rely on them until you trust them and so on and so forth. Often these days people will begin to have physical relationships before they even go on a proper date. This is quite common, and if this relates to you, don’t panic. However, be warned that when you move faster than your relationship has developed you can accidentally create unsettling feelings in yourself or your partner. The first step, according to the RAM, is knowing someone. How do you do that? Ask them questions. Get to know them, find things in common with each other, seek to learn about them. You also don’t want to be overbearing, it might scare them! Start small and then the more you get to know each other the more serious questions you can ask.

Changing the dating culture isn’t going to happen in a day but it can start with one couple and spread to the next. The key is respect always, respect their time, their body, their opinions, and what they love. Take them out on a proper date, that shows you care about their time and wanting to treat them to something nice. Again, that could be considered anything, even a walk in the park!

What are your thoughts? Any dating advice for the upcoming generation?

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